We Didn't Start The Fire We Just Helped It Burn
by bruisedpapaya
Summary: It was true, I'm sure they didn't start it, but fire can grow to such a great magnitude you forget why it started in the first place. You just realize that you kept it burning. Martin Ruthie! Yeah, yeah weird summary but I like the song.
1. Build Me Up So you can bring me down

_**We Didn't Start The Fire-We Just Helped It Burn **_

Disclaimer: Don't own anything, so don't sue, midterms are coming up.

A/N: Okay this is dedicated to LaKyla, you rule! She's been wanting another story for awhile and I figure I owed her this. Alrigtht, um this is going to be a short-possibly three or four chapter fic. I've been reading a lot of stories about Martin and Ruthie meeting again and I guess this is just my take on it. So here ya go, this if for you LaKyla!

_**Chapter 1:**_

It's been three and a half years since I last saw him. I definitely did love him, there's no doubt in my mind about that. It makes perfect sense as I haven't loved another since then.

I heard he became the father we all knew he could be, I heard he and Sandy became friends. I knew that we weren't anymore-friends that is.

But come tomorrow evening, I'll be seeing him again. Him and his daughter (named Laurie by the way) and Sandy, for the first time in three and a half years.

Laurie was about four now-if I had to estimate and I was there when she was born, all those years ago.

Martin and I were supposed to be friends and that was just what I was going to do, stay his friend. I mean loving him in silence was way easier than him every finding out I loved him again.

So we promised to stay friends, and when Sandy called Martin's cell phone to tell him she was going to labor, he called me straight away. We drove to the hospital together and I held his hand as he waited for his daughter to be born. (Lucy ended up being the person who came into delivery with Sandy).

Martin had grown up in the last trimester of Sandy's pregnancy, it became real to him. He once told me, that if he had to be a dad, he'd be the best dad he could be. After he told me that, I told him he would be the best.

It was a long birth, we waited for what seemed like days but what seemed like days, but what was really hours. When finally the doctor came out and called Mr. Brewer. (That was the first time, I'd ever heard him be called Mister).

She was a healthy, beautiful, dark haired, blue eyed baby girl. Martin grabbed my hand and pulled me towards what must have been Sandy's room, we stepped inside after she said of course come in.

She asked us if we wanted to see their baby. Martin cried, it was beautiful. The first time a father sees his baby girl, you just see all this pride in their eyes. I wondered if that was how my dad was with me, I'm sure he was.

Martin asked to hold her, Sandy allowed him to but only for a second as she had to be taken away for a little while, so Sandy could sleep.

Martin asked what her name was going to be, Sandy told him that it was their decision together. "I've always liked the name Lauren," he told her. "Lauren Ann Brewer," she said aloud "I like that." The two smiled at each other, in what could only be called friendship.

"Hi Laurie, I'm your daddy," Martin said smiling to the now sleeping baby. "Laurie, you're beautiful." And she was. With her father's dark hair and her mother's light eyes, she would always be beautiful.

Martin kissed Sandy on the cheek and I gave her a hug he then told her to go to sleep and we'd see her when she woke up.

We left then, to go call the rest of the family. It didn't take us very long to call them as they were already waiting for us to come out.

My mother cried and hugged Martin, my father shook his hand and then hugged him. Kevin gave him a punch on the shoulder and told him it was about time for him to step up and Lucy who'd just came out of Sandy's room cried and hugged Martin close. Then she hugged me.

She whispered in my ear and told me how brave I was. She gestured for me to come with her, I told my family I had to go to the bathroom, they were too absorbed in the news of the baby to really notice me or Lucy going anywhere.

"Ruthie," she said "I just want you to know how proud I am of you." She did seem proud, but I had no idea why. So of course being ever curious I asked her. "Ruthie, I know how much you care for him. It couldn't have been easy helping him through all this, but you did it. You're brave and strong and courageous and I'm so proud of you," she finished her ears welling up in tears again.

I didn't exactly know what to say, I mean yeah sure I liked (possibly loved) Martin but a girl's got to do what a girl's got to do and well I did it. There was really no bravery in that, what was brave was what I had to do after we got home from the hospital.

When we got home from the hospital that day, well not all of us, Lucy stayed in the hospital with Sandy and Martin was told to go home and sleep. But first he promised Sandy he'd come back the next day.

Martin drove me home that night, as I stayed with him until much later than the others. It was around 11 when we finally left. Supposedly only one person is supposed to stay with the mother, even if that one person isn't the father.

So we were driving home, Martin still clearly exhilarated. "Wasn't she beautiful, Ruthie?" he kept asking me. I have to say even his persistency was cute. Oh and the constant strands of she's so going to be playing baseball when she grows up, was a nice touch too.

I laughed it all off, for the first time in a really long time, I wasn't thinking, "why her baby, you were supposed to be having mine one day," I was actually not thinking at all. I was proud and happy for Martin as any friend should be.

I guess when you were best friends the little stuff doesn't matter, like my little crush.

So as Martin continued his idle chit chat about Laurie's beauty, I allowed myself to drift off.

I don't exactly remember what I was thinking about. I kind of remember thinking about how happy a day it was. But then again my memories are kind of fudged. I remember Martin saying something directly towards me, something I totally missed.

"I'm sorry what?" I asked him. "I said you were awfully quiet today," he told me. "No, I wasn't, I was just soaking up the magnitude of family togetherness and love today, it was beautiful. I'm happy you called me first," I told him honestly.

"How could I not have, your my best friend, not to mention you've been so cool during all of this," he told me turning his head back to the front. "What do you mean?" I asked him.

"Well you know, how you kind of had a crush on me awhile ago, well it's just great of you, to be my best friend still- I mean, even after I was kind of a jerk to your boyfriend," he said to me.

It took me a second to register all of that, first of all, we haven't mentioned "my crush" for a long time. Then I tried to understand the boyfriend comment, I didn't have a boyfriend...ahh right Jack!

"Jack's not my boyfriend," I told him. The rest of his statement was left behind as he was quick to comment on my last statement. "He's not, but I've been hearing that he's been your boyfriend for sometime now. You guys are always together in the halls," he told me sounding confused.

"Well we are friends, and why didn't you just ask me? We're friends too aren't we?" I asked him sarcastically. "Of course we're friends but I haven't wanted to ask any questions about your _relationships _(sarcasm duly noted) with anyone, but especially Jack. I mean we did have a fight remember, I kind of yelled a lot at your boyfriend," he told me.

"He's not my boyfriend, never has been," I was getting a bit agitated. "But I thought after, well after I left you two decided to hook up," he told me. "Excuse Me?" I half yelled pulling my jacket tighter around me. "Not that type of hook up," he told me rolling his eyes "I meant you know decided to date," he said.

"Well we didn't, we decided, I'm too young for him and he's too experienced for me, I think I need a guy who has a minimum of experience," I said laughing. He turned his head to look at me, he was actually more like ogling me. "What, do I have something on my face?" I asked him flipping down the mirror. I basically knew I didn't have anything on me, but it was a good distraction for my cheeks turning pick.

"No your perfect," he said smiling the seemed to come to his senses and turned his head back towards the front. I blushed a darker pink and controlled my cheeks by smearing some make up on to my cheeks. He was still sitting straight in front, trying not to smile.

We were about three minutes from my house, I tried to focus on everything but his mouth. I stared at the digital clock till my eyes glazed over, then I blinked a few times and turned my eyes towards the window again. When we turned the corner to get on to my block, I turned back towards him, only to see him looking at me too. This time though we both blushed and turned away again.

He drove up and parked in the driveway, he told me he'd walk me out and we went through the back way.

"So um, I just um wanted to say thanks again," he said stammering. I had never heard Martin Brewer stammer especially when talking to me. "Your welcome, well I'll see you tomorrow," I told him smiling. "Yeah, yeah see you tomorrow," he said turning away.

As I turned to turn the knob to open the door, he grabbed my arm. "Ruthie, listen I need to tell you something, something my dad told me-and well it's about you," he told me-he sounded serious. "Well, spit it out," I told him feeling slightly nervous. He took hold of my arms, okay now I was shivering.

"Well see he told me, that well he once thought that me and you would get married ten years down the road," he said taking his arms off of my shoulders. "Well, your dad just likes me, parent's love me," I told him feeling stupid. Wow, did his dad really think that would happen.

"Yeah, I know parent's love you, but it's kind of funny right?" he said looking nervous. I giggled nervously, we were both sort of nervous I guess. "Well yeah, it's extremely funny," I told him. "Yeah, funny. But here's the thing Ruthie, maybe well maybe he wasn't so off?" he said.

Now if your crush of about two and a half years told you that his father's proclamation that you would one day be married wasn't so off, what would you do? Yeah probably squeal or play it off as a joke. But not me, no of course not I just let it go right over my head, so instead I said blankly, "What?"

He laughed this time not nervously and he put his hands on my shoulders again. "See, Ruthie, when he told me that at first I just laughed it off but then I thought about how good, a friend you are to me. Sometimes I guess, I don't treat you very well, I baby you. I know I shouldn't, but I do, so Ruthie Camden this is me saying I'm sorry for treating you more like a big brother, than a friend," his proclamation was basically just interesting.

"Well thanks Martin, it's nice of you to think of me as an equal rather than a baby-I guess, well good night," I told him again going for the door. "Ruthie," I turned around again and just like that he kissed me.

I know I should of been over the moon, but I wasn't because this is what happened next. His lips were on mine, than just as quick as it happened he let go.

"Oh my god, I didn't mean to do that," he told me. You want to hear the one thing you don't want a guy who just kissed you to say (other than "what did you eat") well yeah that'd be it. He didn't mean to do it.

I did what I could think to do, I slapped him and I ran inside.

And that was the last I saw of Martin Brewer.

Alright, I'm lying. Of course I saw him again, I mean he did live across the street. But in the same context as before, I never saw him again. I don't think I'd ever been madder at someone as I was at the moment.

So I did what any girl would probably do, I threw myself into school. Okay not any girl, but me I would do it. I did really well too, don't think I didn't have a social life because I did. A lot of guys asked me out, and if you'll believe it I even went on a date with Sam. I was right though there was no connection, he felt it too. But I did try, and I met some really nice guys but none of them were really boyfriend worthy.

So school came first, and if you'll believe it, I got into Columbia (yeah _the_ Columbia, Ivy League, scholorship and all that). All that being New York, and guess what I went.

Okay now here's where the story really starts, I'm in my Senior Year at Columbia, I'm going to be a psychologist and I'm ready for anything.

Don't get any bad ideas, I definitely saw my family a lot, I didn't exclude them not at all, I talked with them constantly and they came here occasionally and I went there for breaks and things. But I haven't spent any long, long extended period at home for over three and a half years.

But now I was going to, because not only had I finished all my finals, but Lucy had another baby and she wanted us all there. This one though is a little boy named William James Kinkirk (BJ for short). Amazingly enough with my busy schedule, I haven't met BJ yet and he's 6 months old now, you're supposed to meet your aunt way before that. So that's why I'm going.

Oh and for the record, no I don't care that he's coming as well.

Lucy, the ever sensitive sister, always asked me if it was okay that she maintained a friendship with Martin.

I always told her of course, it's not like he's an ex boyfriend, to which she'd always reply, yeah but he is an ex love. Or maybe just a love.

I hated her when she got into my head, but I could tell she loved it.

So I didn't care, I would see Martin again and I'd be pleasant and nice and kind. That was what I was going to do, I swear.

"I'm bailing," I called to my roommate and the mother of my child. "Oh no you're not," she called back. Trying to get Laurie into the bath after a long day at the park.

"Oh yes I am, Sandy she doesn't want to see me," I called back to her. "Martin, remember when you guys were good friends, possibly the best of, remember that feeling now, and get over it because we're going, Laurie misses Savannah and I miss the Reverend and Mrs. Camden and Lucy and Kevin and everyone we are going," she told me.

I rolled my eyes, of course Sandy didn't care, she didn't have to deal with the fact that she screwed up one of the best friendships of the time. Not to mention a possible relationship, I think I loved her, how messed up is that. I haven't seen her in like three and a half years, I don't even know her anymore.

Sandy came in with Laurie in hand, or arms really. "Hi Daddy!" she squealed as her mother tried to get her hair dry. "Hi Laurie, how was your bath?" I asked taking her into my hands, swinging her around. "It was great, but I kind of miss the feel of the dirt, after baseball practice," she said trying to sound adult. "Yeah, she's definitely your daughter," Sandy said smiling and taking her from me.

"Daddy, did you say something about Savannah? Because see Mommy, yelled somethign about Savannah, we're still seeing Savannah right?" she asked in a rushed voice.

She looked up at me with her big blue eyes, "yeah we'll be seeing Savannah soon," I told her. God I am such a sucker.

And here I was, back in my home town. There was my dad, waiting for me right in front, by my plane. Wait there was my dad "Daddy!" I squealed running over to him, and jumping into his arms. I think being away makes you act like a child more than ever.

"Yeah, Ruthie I missed you too," he laughed hugging me close. I hugged back, and then we made our way to the car. We talked about nothing and everything for a long while and then I got home. That was a beautiful sound, being away for so long was not good for the soul.

I ran inside ahead of my dad and found my mom and my sisters cooking. That's right sister's, Lucy had gone all out, the whole family was going to be here. My mom saw me here, and screamed. I ran towards her and hugged her, she held me extremely close, I saw tears in her eyes. "I've missed you, Mom."

"I've missed you too, Ruthie," she said letting go of me. Next came Mary, we hugged and told how much we missed each other, but see the truth was I saw Mary a lot during college. She lived close enough to the campus to come and visit and vice versa.

Next came Lucy, she was nearly in tears as well, she seemed to miss me a lot. But that wasn't just it, I'm sure. Or maybe it was, I don't know, I'm never too sure about anything when it comes to Lucy.

I looked over next to the table, it took me a second to realize it was a stroller that was nest to it. "Is this BJ?" I asked her. Lucy nodded. I leaned down and looked at the cute, quiet baby boy. "Aw Luce, he's adorable," I told her cooing over him. Lucy picked him up and handed him to me, I held my new nephew and rocked him a bit. "Oh, he's precious," I told her. "Yes, he is, isn't that right my angel?" she asked the still sleeping baby.

I was extremely happy for my sister, she was as happy as I've ever seen her and I was happy for her. I think I missed being at home.

A/N: Okay next chapter coming up soon I guess, so you like it, hate it, drop me a review, it always makes me feel happy to get a review. Plus just for the record, I'm very close to failing math so you all want to make me feel better-by giving me a review...thanks for reading!


	2. Don't Imagine

Disclaimer: Own nothing _7th Heaven_, _Related _or otherwise. (Oh Pun there! If you watch Related at least.)

Chapter 2 of We Didn't Start the Fire-We Just Helped It Burn

Okay well being home was great, that's for sure. I mean I loved being able to see my family all the time. Mom and Dad, Matt and Sarah, Mary and Carlos (who did of course reconcile), Charlie who wasn't that much of a baby anymore (he was going on six), Lucy and Kevin, Savannah and the newest edition BJ.

Oh and did I mention Simon? Yeah he was there. He wasn't with a significant other though. See him and Rose broke up. They ended on solid terms and it really was okay for both of them. With the oncoming threat of marriage, Simon got cold feet. Rose-well you know Rose-she wasn't excited about this in the least. She told Simon that he had to make up his mind-about them, I mean. He chose to tell her the truth, that he wasn't ready. She chose not to take it as it was (a confession) but more as a personal attack. She broke up with him, Simon though promised to always be her friend. And when Rose got married, Simon was in the audience.

I can't tell you how happy my parents were that Simon and Rose split. The words gleeful and hyper enthusiastic come to my mind. I can't say I was too displeased easier. Out of Rose and Sandy, I always liked Sandy better. Well, except when I hated her for having taken Martin away from me. Which I know she really didn't do, that was his fault as much as hers.

So back to the real picture, my family was all there. Lucy was ready to really celebrate the birth of her baby with everyone she cared about. So within a few hours more people arrived-inconsequentially Martin wasn't here yet.

Not that I noticed of course, I mean I could care a less where he was. But it was kind of exciting you know, I mean it was _cool_. To see how Laurie must have grown, I mean I was there the day she was born after all.

When there was a knock on the door about an hour later, I had every idea of who it was. Or whom really. My mother answered to the knock with a "when does Martin Brewer ever knock?" which let's face it _used _to be true.

I heard a chorus, of "look how big she's gotten" and a lot of "hi, how are you guys?" I didn't exactly feel the need to go into that room, I'd say hello to Sandy later.

But when Savannah entered the kitchen with a little girl, of who looked to be about four, I knew right away who she was. First of all, she had beautiful dark hair and second of all her eyes were the most gorgeous shade of blue imaginable. But the other reason, I knew who she was, was the baseball jersey and cap she had worn to the festivities.

She was so Martin's daughter. "Hi, Aunt Ruthie," Savannah said in a superior tone. She was about a year and a half older than Laurie after all. "Well, hello Savannah, and who may I ask is this?" I asked knowing full well who this was.

"My name's Laurie," she said in a loud whisper. "Well, hello Laurie, my name's Ruthie," I told her back. "Oh, I know who you are, Mommy and Daddy talked about you last night," she said eagerly. "Mommy told Daddy that he has to come and he has to see Ruthie whether he likes it or not, and guess what he listened, because see, he told me I could play with Savannah and look I am!" she said excitedly.

She was so cute. I knew she'd be adorable, the second Sandy had her. Seeing as she was such a quiet baby. For the most part anyway.

"So your Ruthie and I'm Laurie and she's Savannah and look there's Mommy!" she said happily. "Hi Mommy! Look it's Ruthie, member you told Daddy about her!" she said joyfully. "That's right, angel I did," Sandy said smiling. "Hi, Ruthie," she said turning to look at me. "Hi Sandy, how have you been?" I asked coming in for a quick hug.

We broke apart, "Oh you know busy with this little monster," she said grabbing Laurie by the waist and tugging her up into a hug.

Laurie squealed and pulled away and went to run back into the living room with Savannah following close behind.

"Hey Daddy!" Laurie yelled jumping onto Martin's lap. "Hey baby, did you have fun with Savannah?" Martin asked his daughter. "Uh huh and guess who I met?" she squealed. "Who?" he asked her. She was now smiling mischievously. "You have to guess," she said laughing. "Did you meet the cookie monster?" he asked her. "No, Daddy don't be silly, he only hangs out on Sesame Street," she laughed. "Okay then who?" he asked her.

"Alright, I'll tell you...Ruthie!" she yelled the last part. The whole room fell silent, to look at Martin's face. "Did you baby? Well that's great," the whole room let out a sigh of what was probably relief.

In the kitchen, the only thing me and Sandy heard was my name being screamed out. Sandy grabbed my hand and told me that we should see what all the ruckus was about.

We entered the living room to see everyone laughing. "See Daddy! I told you it was Ruthie!" Laurie said obviously excited. The whole room fell silent as, Sandy grabbed my hand and brought me closer to my family. "Um, hi everyone. What's the big deal. That a girl Laurie, you showed your old daddy didn't you?" I told her laughing (even if it was nervously). "Yeah, I did. Ha, Daddy I told you it was Ruthie. Mommy believed me," she pouted.

The whole room burst out in laughter again. "Come on Savannah, lets go see what Sam and David are doing, they must be more cool then these old guys," Laurie said taking Savannah's hand and leading her upstairs.

I sat down next to Lucy and Kevin and tried to absorb myself into their conversation. I couldn't help but notice though, that well Martin kept staring at me. It was sort of unnerving. I finally decided I'd be the bigger person and trick Martin into coming into the kitchen with me. Or not so much as trick him as tell him to come with me.

So I stood up, purposely kicked his shin a bit, and flicked my head towards the kitchen. I told him in my own form of sign language and told him to wait 30 seconds before he left.

I got into the kitchen and waited until he excused himself as well. About 30 seconds later he was sitting on the chair across from me. "Hi," he said quietly. "Hi," I said quietly back.

"So you um wanted to see me?" he asked looking paler than usual. (Not that I knew what was usual anymore). "Um yeah, why do you keep staring at me?" I asked as fast as I could. "Um I don't know, I haven't seen you this close in a really long time Ruthie," he said "it's just weird is all."

"Yeah well for me too," I told him. "I mean I was the one who sort of stopped talking to you," I said. "Well, I could have tried to get you to talk to me a little harder," he rebutted. "Yeah, it wouldn't have mattered, I was so mad at you," I said. "Yeah but if I never kissed you none of this would have ever happened, I'm sorry for that by the way, it was stupid," he said solemnly.

And here we were about three and a half years later and he still acted the same way as he did when I left. Well if that's how he was going to act, I was going to do the same thing I did then too.

So I reached up and slapped him.

Yeah sure, I know what you're thinking, that was childish Ruthie, get a hold of yourself Ruthie. But see I'm not going to, because all those things that he once said that hurt me, he was saying them again!

"Hey, what the hell was that for?" he asked bringing a hand to his red cheek. "That was for being stupid. You know what I thought we could be friends but you know what I was wrong, we can't be," I told him. I wasn't going to cry, this wasn't important to me anymore, he's just going to be another faceless person to me.

"Ruthie what are you talking about?" he asked me, confused. When is the idiot not confused, I think I might have to be a bit lenient, this one last time.

"What am I talking about? Martin, three or four years ago you kissed me and then you said it was stupid. Okay I might have been naive at that point in time, but I was never naive enough to not know how rude it was to say that. Oh and mean, I thought I was your friend," I felt like crying. "You were my friend," Martin told me

"If I was your friend, you would have known how much saying that was going to hurt me," I told him still trying to control my tears. "But Ruthie, I told you that, so I wouldn't end up hurting you. I just became a dad, did you really want to get in to a relationship with a father? What would have your parent's thought? You were sixteen and I couldn't put that much pressure on you," he told me solemnly.

Put that much pressure on me. Does he not realize where I went to school? Pressure is my middle name. "Okay Martin, you put more pressure on me, by stopping it. Don't you get it, I really liked you. I mean sure, it might have been because you were "hott" like Katie used to say, but I think it was more because I liked who you were. Until you know you ruined it for me," I told him. It kind of felt good to get that out after all those years.

"How did I ruin it for you?" he asked me. God what an idiot, I thought to myself. "You did the stupidest thing ever, and you don't think you ruined it? Guess again. I thought you were like a god, seriously I think I put you up that high in my life. But not anymore, I don't care anymore. That's it, I'm done," I told him.

"You can't be done, Ruthie I didn't mean to hurt you. Don't you get it, I just didn't want you to be upset. I mean I had a baby then, I had to be a dad. I couldn't be a dad and a boyfriend and that wouldn't have been fair to you," he said.

"Cut the crap, Martin," I told him fiercely. He looked taken aback, I didn't care anymore. "It's bad enough that you couldn't realize how much you hurt me. But now you want to say this whole thing happened because of Laurie? Well listen, think of it this way it never did happen and you know what not because of Laurie. It was because you didn't want it, and that's it. Really, there's nothing more to it than that. I just wish that at that time, you had the guts to tell me. But I guess wishes don't ever really come true," I left then to go back into the living room with my family.

I decided to leave this conversation and him, behind me.

"But don't you get it, Ruthie? I did want it, and I still do," Martin said to the empty room before he also departed.

A/N: Um okay this is the second chapter, I have to say it's not as good as the first, sorry! And it's a lot shorter but adding any more would take away from the third chapter if you catch my drift, so even if you don't like it that much, can you review? Um the next chapter might not be up till Sunday. Sorry again! (Busy weekend planned.)Well anyways, review? Pretty please, with sugar and ice cream and the little chocolate covered sprinkles (or rainbow)on top? Oh and by the way I think I messed up the time line because Laurie would be more like 6 or 7 rather than 4 but I modeled Laurie after my four year old cousin (you know what her name is? Laurie!) lol So Sorry for that too.

Wow This Is A Long Author's Note!

So review review review!


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